Category Archives: Blog

It seems even as children we have a desire to hold back the truth. We saw this demonstrated well in Joeseph Grenny’s short videography his son produced. Seriously, how do you tell a friend his “dead” grandmas brownies are awful.

Maybe if we were taught how to handle our emotions at an early age, it wouldn’t be such a challenge when we become an adult. Let’s look at some of the takeaways from our discussion this week.

– The “Greatest Myth” – Tell the truth or keep a friend? Why is this a choice? Why do we think that by telling the truth it means were going to lose something of value to us? Which leads us to the feeling that certain things are “undiscussable”.

– We know the risks of confronting something; added stress or losing job security.

– Some common undiscussables are; The hard headed boss, hygene, or gender issues.

– We learned our first discipline is to honesty, then focus on positivity when seeking a solution.

– Go into it as a partner. Demonstrate we have a mutual purpose.

– Go into it with a level of respect for what the other brings to the group. As we approach this, purify your thoughts don’t perform them.

– Don’t allow your emotions to sidetrack you from achieving results. Stay focused on facts, not feelings.

– What topics do you shy away from when on the clock? How many undiscussables do you have at work? When leading remember  these 4 focus points:

1. Model

2. Teach

3. Coach

4. Measure

With effort and dedication, maybe,  just maybe, we can be at a meeting and safely say with respect – “These brownies SUCK!”……. and not get fired.

Do you like to watch movies? I do. Do you like to see conflict in a movie? I do. This is usually where we get to see the hero rise to the occasion. Conflict adds depth and excitment to the story. A movie would be pretty boring without conflict. But for some reason in leadership I tend to avoid conflict. What would you think if you get to a climatic scene, and Captain America (who has an opportunity to make a difference) sees the conflict and says “Nope. Forget it. I don’t like dealing with that stuff. I’m out.” What a let down.  A leader could be the hero if he or she could approach conflict with confidence and without fear.

– 2 Samuel 12:1-13 displays a healthy example of Nathan dealing with conflict.

– As Leaders we need to be intentional about not avoiding conflict.

– As Leaders we need to be prepared before we go into conflict.

– We’ve learned that bottling up conflict is not healthy.

– Bottling up confilct will increase your anxiety. Once released, a sense of relief pours over you.

Group discussion topics:

1. Share a recent conflict you’ve experienced.

2. What’s your natural response to conflict.

3. How could we apply what we took away from today.

Building trust in an organization. Insert action – now go, right? If it were only that easy. This can be one of those things in our lives that just seem to elude us. How can we create trust as a real option and not just hope it happens? How can we be intentional with a confidence that trust will be present? Here are some take aways from week 2 discussion:

– We can see examples in the secular world and in the bible of leaders not being vulnerable.

– Vulnerability needs to be a guideing principle in our Leadeship.

– Its the leaders role to take the inititive.

– When we hear the word vulnerability, we automatically think weakness. Why then when we hear someone share a personal story of about how emotional pain strengthens their character, we see them as courageous?

– Vulnerabilty is our most accurate measurement of courage.

– Being vulnerable is empowering not weakening.

– When we see the paradigm shift, vulnerabilty will be the birthplace for innovation creativity and change.

– Shame is the swapland of the soul. Good leaders are able to to let go of their shame.

– Shame vs. Guilt

Guilt = I’m sorry I hurt you

Shame = I’m sorry I’m a mistake.

…..but, hiding your shame is a prison. Which ultimately prevents your leadership ability from prospering.

– Accountabilty is a principle that allows to build trust. Share your burdens in confidence with a mentor.

– Before we pursue conflict, we need to build trust.

I once heard someone say – “Management is doing things right, Leadership is doing the right things.” Maybe you’ve heard this before. Wether you have or haven’t, I want you to take a moment and think what is the “right thing”? Leaders are the ones assigned to ensure accomplishment of said task, right? Is that it? Is that all we are called to do? Are we just placed in a position or title to rifle through a list objectives that once complete show an organization how “awesome” we look? What if the point of leadership was to accomplish tasks, all the while, doing these following things with the teams you lead: inspire, share, motivate, encourage, and serve?  I would say: Leaders have a responsibility to provide a climate that allows for productivity and growth. Leaders need to rely heavily on the people they lead. I’ve never seen anyone lead a “peopleless” organization, so shouldn’t we be intentional about investing in the growth and development of those within our influence? As a leader myself, I want to see ways I can do those things. What impact does my leadership have on those I lead? I’ll be the first to admit, it’s not easy. Fortunately, someone who lead me took the time to show me my worth, and filled my cup with knowledge. As leaders are we pouring out our cups for the benefit of someone else?

As I look around my office I get a chuckle as I reminisce about the awards from my early “glory days” as an engineer:

Top Gun of the year 2001

Distinguished Service Award 2003

Distinguished Service Award 2004 (last award received)

Promoted to Manager 2005

I don’t mention this to highlight my accomplishments, but to contrast my effectiveness as an individual contributor vs my effectiveness as a early manager.  I was a good engineer, but in my first few years as a leader I was far from effective.  OK, that’s an understatement, I was a terrible leader.  I was arrogant, immature, and I had no idea what it took to lead.  I even remember saying statements like “I’ve been around leaders my entire life, I know what it takes to be a good leader” or “I understand the technical aspects of our department, how hard can it be to lead it?”  As I settled into the leadership position, I still thought I had it all figured out.  Yes, I filled out performance appraisals, approved time off, hired people into the team, fired people who weren’t performing, but I was still stuck in the role of an individual contributor.  I was limiting the productivity of the team to what I could be personally involved in.  Sure I added additional people to the team, but I wasn’t empowering them to produce at their maximum potential.  Through the years I hope I’ve made some strides in my growth as a leader and I hope to eventually reach that level where my leadership efforts approach that ideal multiplying effect.  I don’t know that I’m there yet, but now I at least have a good understand that high performing individual contributors don’t always translate into high performing leaders without some effort.